history jokes

Why is mustard gas so dangerous? Because it was used in World War One to kill people.

"I totally nailed that guy" - Roman soldiers

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you'd almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds I have no shame...

Yo mama is so easy even a caveman could do her.

Did you know that ancient Egyptians were related by their farts? It's true. They had a toot in common.

With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Happy Thanksgiving!

A roman walks into a bar holds up two fingers and says "5 beers please".

Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt.

Times New Roman walks into a saloon. The bartender says to him, "I'm sorry, we don't serve your type here." So he shot the serif.

[having daughter's new boyfriend (who I think is a caveman) over for dinner] so dave, how is work? *lights candle and watches his reaction*

Tried Googling "Missing Medieval Servant" but I kept getting Page Not Found

"Who am I?" she beckoned the stars. Stars: We've gone over this a million times. You are a geisha caveman.

Just got arrested for racing my Segway wearing an adult diaper and a Viking helmet. Still not clear which law I broke.

How do you cut the Roman empire in half? You use a pair of Caesars

It must've been so fun to live in ancient Egypt because everything you wrote was an emoji

A Roman guy walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says "five beers please"

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb? I I

So much has been going wrong in the USA You would think it had been built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

No one should have been surprised by the rise of the USSR after World War II. I mean, there were red flags everywhere.

A Roman walks into a bar... ... holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers please!"

A Roman walks into a bar... A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.... "You mean a martini?" the bartender asks. The Roman replied, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

A Roman Walks into a Bar He holds up two fingers, and says "'l'll Have 5 Beers Please"

Did you know gullible came from ancient Greek? The prefix 'gulli' meaning 'believing' and the suffix 'ble' meaning 'ble-shit'.

[Zoo, bird show] "Millions of years of evolution have made these ancient raptors into graceful sky gods." *bird headbutts window 50 times*