ai jokes

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tyred. Alexa gave me that one. Bing Bang boom.

What do a cheap robot and a high class prostitute have in common They both stop working for you after you pee on them.

The only way to score with a robot Is to get it in the mode

What do you call a cross dressed robot? Android-gynous

A police officer bought a robot this robot was fueled by sodium and alkaline, but could only hold enough for 24 hours at a time. so every morning he had to charge it with a salt and battery.

Alexa, tell me a dirty joke The patron tells the waiter "this coffee tastes like mud". The waiter replies "yes sir, it is fresh ground".

I just asked Siri "Surely it's not going to rain today?". Siri replied "It is, and don't call me Shirley." I forgot to take my phone off airplane mode

Apparently it was a bad idea to ask Siri "What do women want?" She's been talking nonstop for the last two days now.

WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea

She danced her way into his heart. -She was doing the robot tho, so she looked like an idiot.

Pour motor oil over a stack of CDs. Ta-da! Robot pancakes.

me: siri, clear my evening appointments, i've got a date tonight. siri: "lol yeah ok. beep boop beep. gotcha."

"Alexa, yell at my kids to behave every 7 minutes. I'm headed to the bar."

Russian skater just explained that he is "not a robot," proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics

Please sign my petition to make Matthew McConaughey the voice for Siri.

Is siri better than you? that's a siri-ous question.

You know you've had too much to drink when you ask Siri to drive you home.

my nana and bb8 i recently got the sphero bb8 and my nana asked 'what is that' 'its bb8' 'who?' 'a robot from star wars' 'oh, so is there a mouse in side it?'

When will a proper female AI be made? When we invent NANDOR logic gates

I want to see a movie where a robot gains consciousness and realizes its a loser and doesn't want to do anything

joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*

Why was the robot cold? He was missing his winter gear

Which Vice President was the best at making beats? Algorithm

I wish robot servants were affordable already.