social media jokes

I tried watching Inception with Twitter on. I still don't know what Juno was doing in their dreams.

I dont use one of those unfollower sites like a psycho. I use my handwritten list of followers and crosscheck it daily like a NORMAL PERSON!

How does a Facebook employee greet each other? Hey there, whatsapp!!

I tried changing my facebook name into Stephen Hawking but it said the username is invalid.

The Pumpkin Spice Gang ~An over caffeinated pack of basic white girls that can do things with a selfie stick that you didn't think possible.

A recent study shows that Twitter users don't give a fuck in excess of 30 times a day.

How can you know that you are insecure about what other people think of your post? [deleted]

[Divorce court] Her: I found his Twitter account. I want a divorce. Judge: He was cheating? Her: No, he was doing inspirational tweets.

I belched chickpeas in front of the Queen... She gave me a post-houmous pardon.

I'd say I avoid Facebook like the plague, but I don't do much to avoid the plague.

How does Stevie Wonder check Facebook? With his EyePhone

I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them.

wife's facebook post: so proud of 8, he's trying so hard in school! mama loves you! wife's text to me: he failed gym. gym!! i need a drink

No thanks World Cup, if I wanted to watch a bunch of guys unsuccessfully try to score I'll just stay on Twitter.

I read my kids a few select Facebook statuses before bed, kiss them on their heads, and whisper, "This is why we have to stay in school"

[MEGATHREAD] The Post Formerly Known as Prince Since he's gone.

Everything is funnier... Everything is funnier when you're not allowed to laugh. *holds a giggle in* [http://minestatus.co/post.php?id=630]

Got a message from the anti virus app on my phone telling me Twitter was safe. Clearly, the app isn't reading your tweets or looking at pics

When everyone is sharing the jokes of the day on Facebook but... You already reddit

This Facebook is my serious account. The funny one is my bank account.

You know you are successful when ... Girls from school who ignored you on facebook back in the day all of a sudden want to add you on linkedin.

Okay you guys, I'm gonna distract Twitter with an internal server error. When I do, make a run for it and get your life back.

Just unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter. Expecting a song within the hour

Back to Future II is so unrealistic not a single person takes a selfie or gets bullied on the internet