barber jokes

What do Romulans and Vulcans do with their high school drop outs? Send them to barber school.

How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short.

Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing.

A barber, a hairdresser, and bigfoot walk into a bar... You know what...I'm gonna shave this joke for another time.

How did the barber win the race? He knew a **short cut!** ^I'm ^sorry

*barber hands me the mirror to check the back* "Looks good!" I lie, after a few seconds of being unable to get the mirror to angle properly

A punk walked into a barber's shop and sat in an empty chair. "Haircut sir?" asked the barber. "No just change the oil please!"

Customer: Couldn't you see I was going bald? Barber: No the shine from your head blinded me.

A cowboy goes to the barber. When the barber is done cutting his hair, the cowboy goes back outside. And guess what? Pony gone.

I try not to judge my barber for his weight but.. He could be a hair trimmer.

I used to know a guy who shaved around six or seven times a day and still had a beard at the end of the day He was a Barber.

BARBER: what'll it be ME: can u make me feel extremeley self-conscious for 45 minutes BARBER: u got it

The barber asks Bernie Sanders "what are you looking to get done today?" "Oh, just fuck up the top 1%." "Say no more..."