musician jokes

Musicians with no advertising budget can simply name their band Missing Cat.

How do you tell if the stage is level? The drummer is drooling from both sides of his mouth.

Saw two jeeps crash into each other today. There were Dave Matthews Band CD's everywhere.

Me and my mates are in a band called Duvet. We're a cover band.

Little Drummer Boy: I have no gift to bring, pa rum pum pum pum. Mary: What about that rad drum? Little Drummer Boy: No Mary: Get out

What's an owl's favorite rock band? Owls personally prefer the track list of Rock Band 2. Just a solid game.

Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal. He changed his name when the pressure got to him.

I just cut my hand on a box of band aids if you were wondering how I'm doing at life

Two people are walking down the street...... One is a musician. The other doesnt have any money either.

The Allman Brothers couldn't have a woman in the band for two reasons:

No one knows what the singer Sia looks like... Hopefully we will Sia Later.

I was really bad in my school band. So bad they kicked me out and put me on the registered sax offenders list.

The band The Doors have decided to change their name after the next member dies It's gonna be Three Doors Down.

What's the difference between a musician and a suicide bomber? A musician wears his heart on his sleeve. A suicide bomber wears his spleen on your shoes.

What do you call a guy that hangs around with musicians? A drummer.

Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts.

My brief gig as a lounge singer ended when I asked 4 requests & realized I didn't know the song "Get Off the Stage or Die." Elvis, maybe?

I started a band with my dog. He barks while I eat Cheetos. It's indie, you wouldn't get it.

Using only a paperclip, taffy, and rubber band, MacGuyver left another shitty tip.

did you hear about the clumsy musician who tried gardening? he dropped the beet

I got a job as a triangle player in a reggae band... I just stand at the back and ting.

Adele is an amazing singer. The problem is, when one of her songs comes on, everyone else thinks they are, too

If you tell me you're a fan of One Direction, please clarify if you're referring to the boy band or Kim/Kanye's baby.

Have you heard of the band 150 megabytes? No? Not surprised, they don't have any gigs yet.