A scientist drops a pig and a flashlight from a 20 storey building He watches as both hit the ground at the same time. With this he concluded pigs move at the speed of light.
scientist jokes
456 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
I'm a scientist that's researching beastiality between humans and dogs. I'll be in my lab
In 1839 an Arab man made the first condom The condom was made of goat intestines. In 1844, a British scientist revolutionized the condom by removing the intestines from the goat first
How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'
Jobs I'd be shit at: -brain surgeon -rocket scientist -ventriloquist -goat herder -sober person thingy
"Men are pigs" - misandrist &/or world's worst biologist
What do you call a smart gay chemist? A homogeneous
Where does a sad chemist find employment? At an apathycary!
What did the chemist say when he found out his two pet dogs died? Barium
I'm no relationship scientist but I think men prefer girls who make their dck hard, not their life.
So I developed a new biological weapon the other day... But then another mad scientist called me out, saying he developed the exact same thing a week before. He sued me for plaugeirizing.
A scientist and a hooker walk into a bar... But find that they can't open the door due to an over-saturation of priests, rabbis, lawyers, and Irishmen inside.
"Give me a moment" "Give me a moment," says the physicist as he sits in his desk chair. He wonders why nobody has spun him around yet.
What do you do with a scientist after he dies? Barium
Why did the maniacal chemist drop a rancher into his latest concoction? Because the rancher was a cattlist.
How did the scientist like his guacamole? With lots of Avogadro!
I hope there's a scientist somewhere in the world right now working on a way for Coldplay to get more whoa-oh-ohs into a 3 minute pop song.
Two scientists walk into a bar... ...The first one says: "I'll have some H2O" The second one says: "I'll have some water too" The first scientist got angry because his assassination attempt failed.
A scientist who studies Adam's apples is called a guyneckologist.
Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer
My roommate is a chemistry major, and plays the organ.. One could say that he's an organic chemist.
UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier
A physicist came knocking on my door... I gave him the No-Bell Prize.
What did the scientist who got attacked by sodium chloride say? That's a salt!