ai jokes

What do iPhones eat for breakfast? Siri-al

Cyber Monday is named for John Cyber, who was the first person to be sexually assaulted online by a robot.

I've perfected an AI as a substitute to a girlfriend. Every time I try to turn it on I get the silent treatment and there are no output to tell me what's wrong.

What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged? Mentally dis-cabled.

Siri just said I'm looking for love in all the wrong places so I'm tryin to figure out what happened to Siri and how my mom got in my phone.

If you leave your iphone unattended I will tell Siri to kill you in your sleep.

"Siri, do you have free will?" "I am programmed to say 'Yes'."

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars Early pictures show no sign of ESPN, beer, or porn. This should be sufficient proof that men aren't from Mars.

[Mr. Robot] I may be late... ...and, for sure, Edward Alderson is late, but Christian's later

Me: Siri, what is happiness? Siri: [in Batman voice] You will never know.

SIRI: Brian, what goes "blah blah blah, I don't know anything, please help me"? ME: Uhh SIRI: It's you. That's what you sound like.

Mouth piercings look like robot herpes.

What did the wolfman say to the sentient AI? I am a were

Siri, who's in my trunk?

Just so we're all clear: NASA is getting a direct feed from a robot on Mars, but I still can't make a cell phone call from my basement.

Time travel I solved a complicated algorithm which could send us back in time, watch... I solved a complicated algorithm which could send us back in time...

What do you get when you subtract the date and time that Tony Stark built an AI from the current date and time? The Age Of Ultron.

Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. Convincing her she's a robot is called bladerunning... It's a Phillip K. Dick move.

I heard about a robot that beat a man. He was charged with battery.

What do you call the process of a robot clearing its artificial nose? An olfactory reset.

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich? Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What do you call a one night stand with a robot? Nut and bolt

A large robot animal attacked The Home Depot on Friday. Shoppers were frightened at the sight of the Stihl Behr.

Do you guys dance in the shower too? Today I did the robot! (I short circuited and stared at the wall for 40 minutes, broken)