relationships jokes

Relationship status: I just found a piece of chicken in my hair. I ate it. Then looked for more.

The definition of Rodeo Sex - When you accidentally call your partner by the wrong first name..... Then try and stay on for 8 seconds.

Why did I break up with my vegan girlfriend? She refused to swallow animal by-products.

Two reasons i never let my girlfriend touch my iPhone 1)I don't have an iPhone 2)I don't have a girlfriend.

My Boyfriend hates it when we role play and I'm the Doctor cause I make him wait 3 hours bill him then send in a med student named Chad.

*spends 30 minutes trying to unzip my pants to have sex for the first time* *girlfriend sighs* "Just take off the mittens" MY HANDS ARE COLD

Heard my ex tell one of his friends I was a stalker. Almost made me mad enough to come out of his closet and give him a piece of my mind.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Call her and tell her.

A redneck girl is sucking off her black power boyfriend. What's her favorite song? I'm Going Through the Big D and Don't Mean Dallas

We don't need a girlfriend... Our assignments irritates us everyday... that's enough!!

The types of Dolls in a Man's Life There are 3 types of Dolls in a Man's Life: 1 His Daughter , Baby Doll 2 His Girlfriend , Barbie Doll Aaand then His wife, PANA-DOLL

Hear of the shortest suicide note ever? Life sucks, girlfriend doesn't.

My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the face.

Why didn't the engineering student have a good relationship with his professor? There were too many truss problems.

Who makes dinner in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they eat out.

I didn't know what to do with all the gifts my ex gave me. So I took antibiotics until they went away.

Did you hear about the man who proposed to his long-distance girlfriend? It was a ranged marriage.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant

My girlfriend is the square root of -100 Perfect 10, but imaginary

Why are the_donald users not cucks? First of all you'd need a girlfriend to begin with.

This chick last night told me to do her like her ex husband so I drained her bank accounts and banged her sister

Me and my Girlfriend just broke up We had different views on history, I wanted to Hitler and she was just Stalin.

What's the worst place to run in to your ex girlfriend? Auschwitz

What do you call a tuber that buys his girlfriend chocolates? A sweet potato.