relationships jokes

My friend says his new girlfriend takes his breath away ..but that's because she is inflatable

As long as the stupid phrase "interracial relationship" exists, I'm going to refer to same race ones as a "color-coordinated relationship."

Why did the male ghost get scared after the female ghost said "boo"? The male ghost wasn't ready for a committed relationship.

I just broke up with my girlfriend who had a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone on the side.

How do you know when a guy is really in love with his girlfriend? When he starts using condoms with other girls.

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?

So a redditor was on a date with his girlfriend...

How do you know when your girlfriend is getting fat? When she fits in your wife's jeans.

What's scary, yellow, almost no eyes, has TONS of hair, and is constantly threatening to kill me if I don't suck it's dick? My Korean girlfriend.

"NO YOU'RE DRUNK," she says playfully into the mirror, then promptly resumes disappointing her boyfriend's mom at family dinner.

My girlfriend once told me she was pregnant. I was so excited that I ran to another country and have never seen her from then.

What does a guy call his diabetic girlfriend? Sweet Pee

My girlfriend said it was either her or my obsession of showing people where doors are... "Well, there's the door."

Nobody gives a fcuk about how amazing your relationship is. You're on Facebook. It can't be that good.

What idiot called them Ex-fiancees' and not 'Near-Mrs' ?

What's the difference between an archeologist and an ex girlfriend? The ancient stuff the archeologist digs up is useful.

Sunglasses were invented so you can stare at me while you're with your girlfriend.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm too much of an environmentalist... Oh well, not many fish left in the sea

In middle school, I had a crush on a kid named BJ. When you write Heather loves BJ on your notebooks, you make a lot of friends.

My ex girlfriend had huge tits Ahh such good mammaries

My girlfriend got mad and said she need some time and distance as she left the house crying... I still don't get it why she wants to calculate the velocity

"My girlfriend? You wouldn't know her. She's a bit underground." ...said the hipster necrophiliac.

I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad

Van Gogh's girlfriend.. Van Gogh's girlfriend was overwhelmed with emotion when he cut off his ear and gave it to her. She said, "Oh my love, why did you do it?" Van Gogh replied, "pardon?"