What's the best part about dating a Muslim The sex is explosive
mature jokes
15,046 total · showing the first 120 · page 3 of 5
what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit
two flies, eating dinner So two flies are eating a piece of shit. The first fly farts. The second fly looks over, disgusted, and says "ummm...excuse me...I'm eating here...".
What do you call 5 black people having sex.. ...a threesome.
You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
What do you call it when you say "please" and "thank you" during sex? common Coitusy
[NSFW] I met a girl called Michelle at a bar... Her: Hi, I am Michelle Me: I am Donaldson, but people sometimes call me Dick. Her: How do you get Dick from Donaldson? Me: You ask nicely.
"Aw shit, my blackberry photos got hacked" ... ...said nobody ever
What an old women's vagina taste like? Depends
If I washed my dick 100 times, would you suck it? -No? -You dirty cocksucker you.
I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells
Female perfect set of legs!!! Feet on one end...pussy on the other!
My boss said "You're the worst fucking train driver ever," "How many trains have you derailed to date?" I replied "It's hard to keep track."
Why don't you make jokes about muslims? Because they will fucking kill you.
Sometimes I smoke a cigarette after sex because it's hard to explain that I'm lighting a match to get rid of the smell.
When you walk into a barn You step on some shit. Dammit Bojack.
What do you call a whale with erectile dysfunction? Mopey Dick.
What is the difference between a joke and sex? A forced joke can still be somewhat humerous.
What's the worst thing about sex? Buffering.
Did you know that the walrus has the second largest penis of all mammals? ........................... ........................... I have the first :) Stole it from 50 first dates.
Scientists just discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... it's called 'wedding cake'
"Mmm..I love your cooking darling." That's the male equivalent to a fake orgasm.
Taking a nap is like sex..... It's never as good as you had hoped for but better than nothing.
Why are Mafia members so good at sex? Because they've always got a stiff in the trunk.