plumber jokes

How to make a plumber to cry How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family. :)

What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth.

I got the job even though I kept telling them I'm not a plumber. It took awhile to sink in.

Don't you hate it when you call a plumber and all he does is eat mushrooms and kill your turtles?

[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce the word unionized.

Why did the plumber kill himself? He was sewericidal.

What do a plumber and a walrus have in common? They both like a good, tight seal.

How do you make a plumber cry? murder his family.

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce the word "unionized."

When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream.

First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has.

Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?

What are a plumber's favorite shoes? Clogs

How much does a plumber make in an hour? It depends on how much crack he can produce.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his whole family

woke up to a tap on the door this morning had to call the plumber in to remove it

What do you call a smart plumber? A wisecrack.

Me: "I can't turn on the shower" Plumber: "It's seen you naked so often the excitement's gone. Try dressing up" *Hands over shower cap*

My plumber insists on personally using every toilet he just installed. His mission is to boldly go where no one has gone before. Sorry Gene. We still love you.

"McDonald's sales soar thanks to all day breakfast" In unrelated news toilet paper stocks have risen and plumber businesses have been unable to keep up with demands for work.

If a firefighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain... ...can a hooker get laid off?

I was overcharged by a plumber! So, I've been secretly training a gorilla to roll barrels at people. Tomorrow, we're kidnapping his girl.

Thank you, Mario, for rescuing our daughter... So, what now? Like, do we just pay you standard plumber rates? We didn't ask you to do this.