teacher jokes

How did the Sex Ed teacher explain buttsex to her students? She used an analogy

Did you hear about the constipated math teacher? He had to work it out with a pencil.

I asked a music teacher what is sooo hard about playing a violin... she said it's kinda fiddely.

The teacher asked little Timmy why he brought his cat to school... He replied crying "Because I heard daddy tell mommy that he was gonna eat that pussy when Timmy leaves for school today!"

Someone literally said this in class Teacher: "Half the world is a cess pool" Student: "The middle east isn't half the world"

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn.

What I said: I forgot my book. What the teacher heard: I hate school, I hate you & I don't want to make something out of my life.

A math teacher ask his students, "What is 5Q + 5Q?" The class responds, "10Q." The teacher responds, "You're welcome/"

What happens if you draw on the blackboard and the teacher told you not to? She draws a smack!

Why did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do an essay.

People always get disgusted when I say I slept with my teacher... I think it's because I was home schooled.

The Suicide Bomber Teacher said to his student... "Come here and listen closely, I'm only gonna show you this once"...

"Well children" said the cannibal cooking teacher. "What did you make of the new English teacher?" "Burgers ma'am."

I had an art teacher in school who didn't believe in deodorant boy was he an aroma to be around

My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.

Kid pulls prank on teachers seat with glue. Teacher dies due to... Asphyxiation.

So I accidentally called my teacher 'mommy' yesterday... Now she knows exactly what kind of porn I'm into.

A math teacher invented something. A math teacher invented the worlds first underwater bulldozer. He called it his 'Sub-tractor.'

Teacher asked us today, "What is the difference between a hormone and a protein?" You can't hear a protein. (Wait for it)

Conversation with my Dad. Me: "The teacher was talking about strangling a student today!" Dad:"She was probably just choking."

Why did the 14 year old Mexican girl end up pregnant? Because her teacher told her to go do an essay.

My drivers Ed teacher told me to pull over somewhere safe... Five minutes later he said, "Why haven't you pulled over yet?" I said, "Because we're still in Detroit."

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because his teacher was Haydn. (Stolen from laffy taffy)