teacher jokes

A physics teacher accidentally walks into the psychology classroom on her first day... Whoops wrong sub

Teacher: "Name six wild animals" Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"

All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school But honestly, being homeschooled sucked.

Did I ever tell you guys about the time I made it with my really hot math teacher? couldn't really brag about it at the time 'cause I was home schooled...

He rose from mild mannered Social Studies teacher... To vicious kingpin of a criminal cupcake empire. Coming soon to AMC: "BAKING BRAD"

Harassment. So a teacher asks her students to use the word harassment in a sentence. A boy stood up and said, "Ok this is easy. I met a beautiful girl one day and harassment a lot to me"

Nigel: You said the school dentist would be painless but he wasn't. Teacher: Did he hurt you? Nigel: No but he screamed when I bit his finger.

Teacher: Name five things that contain milk. Pupil: Butter cheese ice cream ... and two cows!

At least she didn't say swallow. What's the difference between a teacher and a train? One says: "Spit your gum out." the other says: "Chew Chew." /Badum cshhhh

My stats teacher told me I was average. I thought that was mean.

A teacher asked her students to use the word "beans" in a sentence... "My father grows beans," said one girl. "My mother cooks beans," said a boy. A third student spoke up, "We are all human beans."

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it.

What comes after 69?... Teacher: What comes after 69? Student: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!

Once my gym teacher told me "you are what you eat." I Immediately replied "you callin' me a pussy?"

Student: I'll never be good at geography. Geography teacher: Not with that latitude!

Evidently, trying to schedule parent/teacher conference over drinks and "we'll see what happens" is considered inappropriate.

"Lie flat on your backs class and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes" said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet boy." "I'm freewheeling sir."

Blow your load That awkward moment when you're about to blow your load, and your teacher makes direct eye contact.

- Dad, why don't we visit Greece to see pyramids? - Son, why don't we visit school to see your geography teacher?

I asked my chemistry teacher if we can revise oxides Because im a bit rusty

I failed my Driver's test. Driving teacher: "What do you do at a red light?" Me: "I usually respond to texts and check my Twitter."

One time my teacher was telling a story about war and the girl in front of me slowly opened her laptop and liked Downy on Facebook.

A favourite high school teacher's go-to Knock Knock joke. Knock knock. *-Who's there?* Interrupting cow. *-Interrup-* **MOO**

What did the constipated math teacher do? Worked it out with a pencil.