Pizza is like sex. When its good, its reeallly good, but when its bad... It's still pretty damn good.
edgy jokes
21,996 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
During sex im like a high energy photon hitting the Earth's atmosphere... I come fast and dont penetrate very far! ... ayyyyy!
Is your mum black ? Cause she has a massive dick.
What's the best part about dating a Muslim The sex is explosive
what do my ex and my toilet have in common? They both keep bringing up old shit
two flies, eating dinner So two flies are eating a piece of shit. The first fly farts. The second fly looks over, disgusted, and says "ummm...excuse me...I'm eating here...".
Whats the last thing that went through the suicide bombers mind? His ass
What do you call 5 black people having sex.. ...a threesome.
You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
What do you call it when you say "please" and "thank you" during sex? common Coitusy
[NSFW] I met a girl called Michelle at a bar... Her: Hi, I am Michelle Me: I am Donaldson, but people sometimes call me Dick. Her: How do you get Dick from Donaldson? Me: You ask nicely.
"Aw shit, my blackberry photos got hacked" ... ...said nobody ever
What an old women's vagina taste like? Depends
If I washed my dick 100 times, would you suck it? -No? -You dirty cocksucker you.
I was thinking of making sperm-brand merchandise... ...because sex cells
Female perfect set of legs!!! Feet on one end...pussy on the other!
My boss said "You're the worst fucking train driver ever," "How many trains have you derailed to date?" I replied "It's hard to keep track."
[on death row] "what would you like for your last meal?" "A McRib" "McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"
Why don't you make jokes about muslims? Because they will fucking kill you.
6am: Too tired 8am: This isn't so bad 1pm: OMG so tired 5pm: zombie 8pm: Dead 10pm: LETS SWIM THE ENGLISH CHANNEL & OVERTHINK FOR HOURS
Sometimes I smoke a cigarette after sex because it's hard to explain that I'm lighting a match to get rid of the smell.
When you walk into a barn You step on some shit. Dammit Bojack.
Why are there no Russian strippers? Cuz they tried to kill all the Poles
What do you call a whale with erectile dysfunction? Mopey Dick.