edgy jokes

You know what is ironic about Whitney Houston dying in her bath tub? She was taking swimming lessons at that time

What is the difference between a joke and sex? A forced joke can still be somewhat humerous.

What's the worst thing about sex? Buffering.

What kind of cancer always stands by the government? Pro-state cancer.

I could probably kill this woman, serve my prison sentence, come back here and buy my diet coke before she finishes writing her check.

Did you know that the walrus has the second largest penis of all mammals? ........................... ........................... I have the first :) Stole it from 50 first dates.

Scientists just discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%... it's called 'wedding cake'

"Mmm..I love your cooking darling." That's the male equivalent to a fake orgasm.

Taking a nap is like sex..... It's never as good as you had hoped for but better than nothing.

Why are Mafia members so good at sex? Because they've always got a stiff in the trunk.

My friend called me a pussy the other day. I told him "You know what the say, you are what you eat." Ayyyy

Sex can make your day But anal can make your hole weak

Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse.

I got a paper cut writing my suicide note... its a start

"Do you like exotic birds? " Yea, you do look like you've had a cock-or-two.

Q: How does the blond turn on the light after she has had sex? A: She opens the car door.

There was this cute girl next to me and I missed a lot of obvious signals... We both ended up dying from the car crash.

Me and my wife decided to form a suicide pact... Weird thing was that after she killed herself, I didn't feel like dying anymore.

What did the lipstick and the eye-shadow do after they got into a fight? Had makeup sex

My girlfriend is so ungrateful. Whenever I give her an orgasm... ... she just spits it out.

"The only difference between heterosexual and homosexual sex is which hole you stick it in." ~my mother after a few drinks

Girl, You're like the devil. Hot as hell and horny.

The best part of working out is the sweating and the pain and the feeling bad about myself and the burning desire to die

Here in the Middle East, we don't need any weed We have the Quran. Burning that shit will get your ass stoned.