Wanna get laid? Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.
animals jokes
5,773 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
Why is PMS called PMS? Is it because Mad Cow Disease was taken?
Why didn't the rat go to college? It gotten eaten by the bear...and bears don't go to college.
Why are the reddit servers down so much? Because they're being beaten like a dead horse.
What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck? [deleted]
I bet Seal is terrified of shark week.
a man comes into a bar... or was it a horse? yeah i think it was a horse. so a man comes into a horse....
Why did the bear faint upon seeing his friend eat a donut? He thought his friend was eating his own claw. In reality he was just eating a bear claw donut. D'oh!
What did the chicken say to the duck who was about to cross the road? "Don't do it, man, you'll never hear the end of it!"
What do you get when you cross an attention whore with an attention horse? The centaur of attention.
So now they're feeding cow marijuana infused grain? That isn't for me... ...those steaks are too high.
[walking around still disappointed 6 hours after visiting an aquarium] wife: what did you think a tiger shark was, brent
How do you make a Sea Lion? You remove an electron from a Seal!
"I've found that I'd scream the exact same way If a piece of seaweed touches my leg or if a shark were trying to bite me." - Kevin James
So a horse walks in to a bar... ...and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Q: Whats the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather. Kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
What's a bear's favorite kind of treasure? Bearied.
Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear.
A priest, a rabbi, a horse, and a blonde walk into a bar... ...The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
The thunder god.. sat upon his favourite Filly, I'm Thor, He Cried! The Horse replied, You forgot your thaddle thilly
How do you grow a cow? Plant its nuts.
I used to own a nocturnal horse... She was a nightmare.
"That wasn't chicken in the Chow Mein" I'd make a great Fortune Cookie writer.
What did M. Night Shyamalan say about a duck's penis? What a twist.