ceo jokes

What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck? [deleted]

Soda joke Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired? They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall

CEO of KFC: "We must always respect our customers. That is so important." Ian: "Shall we still serve them food in a bucket?" CEO: "Yes."

"As CEO of Tortoise Enterprises, this merger with Slug Corp is... Linda, where is everyone?" "They all called to say they're running late"

Yeah, I'm majoring in math. Then when I graduate I'll get a job down at the math factory. Maybe even work my way up to CEO of math one day.

The company CEO gives a few words of personal appreciation each year at the holiday party. I got, "Oh, you're still here?"

My 5-year-old blames me when things go wrong and takes all the credit when they go right. She'll be a CEO someday.

[Corporate Olive Garden meeting, 1985] Jesus: Let's do unlimited breadsticks. CEO: How can we supply that many? Jesus: *winks at camera*

Did you hear the CEO of Honda wont be back next year? He's leaving of his own accord. Edit: grammar.

WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired.

When I'm CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called "sandwich artists." They will be "sub humans."

Britain's fattest man has died aged 33. "This tragic news will affect us all deeply," said Roger Whiteside, CEO of Greggs.

Apple CEO announces he's gay. Samsung CEO announces he's more gay and water resistant.

Did you guys hear about the CEO of Reddit? I heard he's a great guy.

The Ikea corporation was found not guilty yesterday for assassinating a rival companies CEO. While there were several damning pieces of evidence, the detectives couldn't seem to put the case together.

I am Harvard Law graduate and interim CEO of reddit Ellen Pao. AMA

An unhinged neurosurgeon, a tech CEO, and a Southern Baptist preacher walk into a bar... they all ask for your vote

What's the difference between Reddit CEO Ellen Pao, and Yoko Ono? .....about 40 years.

A guy is at Chick-Fil-A When all of a sudden Tinker Bell shows up. He goes to a worker and says, "Wow, you guys have fairies in here?" The worker then says, "No, our CEO doesn't like it."

Apple CEO While world is crazy about Apple........ its CEO is crazy about bananas

The CEO of AT&T just got married... The service was okay, but the reception was terrible.

Not sure which is worse, the CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch saying he doesn't want ugly people wearing his clothes or that people still wear A&F

makes sense that the CEO of Apple came out as gay. He kept resisting my technological advances.