1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet
food jokes
6,027 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
My favorite part of eating alone at this trendy restaurant was when the waitress asked if I had cats because I had cat hair, "all over."
A man walks into a restaurant...
Jay-Z should open a pizza place. But all good pizza places need a nice Italian name, he could name it.. Lou Menotti's.
Sorry I broke your arm when your reached for that last slice of pizza. -Flirting is hard.
I could probably kill this woman, serve my prison sentence, come back here and buy my diet coke before she finishes writing her check.
Lol Q: What's Peter Pan's favorite restaurant? A: Wendy's!
How can you tell if a clock is hungry? it goes back 4 seconds
I like my men, like I like my coffee. So hot, that I have to keep blowing.
Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry.
got a meat lover's pizza with the Works: freckles, man curds, leeches, clam clits, jowls, blood clots, charred nuggets, gristle, Megan
My friend said her neighbors came into her restaurant for a book club, turns out it was for a BDSM club. . . I guess people bond over different things.
Why don't more people cook Armenian food? Because it can be very thyme-consuming.
A fat man is in the kitchen preparing vegetables The guest asks "Are you cutting?" "No, I'm not." "You should be."
What was a poor Roman citizen's favorite breakfast? Fruity Plebbles.
whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? pizzas dont scream when they get put in the oven.
What is a terrorists favorite snack? An Allah Ak-bar
What did the italian man with dementia have for dinner? Forgetti Bolognese.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
75% of men dont get enough fibre in their diet.. ....tough shit
What is a government mandate? When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What does a vampire on a diet drink? Blood Lite Thanks Jim Butcher...
I like my coffee how I like my women warm
Poop Patties What did the fry cook do when he found out they were making the burger patties with feces? He flipped a shit.