Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you're nuts.
social media jokes
3,246 total · showing the first 120 · page 1 of 5
Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast.
Have any brief jokes I can snapchat a girl that I like?
*goes to bathroom *takes out phone *opens Twitter *finishes *pulls pants up *flushes *forgets to poop
The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild.
That's it, teachers. Keep gloating on Facebook about your snow day. You'll see my kids tomorrow after their breakfast of Coke & Pixy Stix.
sorry ladies, just changed my Facebook relationship status from "Single" to "Costco Member"
One wrong choice in a Nancy Drew Choose Your Own Aventure book and you're wearing a human intestine as a scarf in post-apocalyptic Boise.
"I'm going to the post office. I need a place stamp" Wtf is that? "I dunno but this envelope says I need one here"
What did Ghost A say to Ghost B? Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.
Did you hear about the Facebook crash? It took a tumbl!
I'm sorry I picked up dog poop using your selfie stick.
My wife: ever since you got on twitter you never listen or talk to me any more. Me: yeah spaghetti for sure!
What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror? Hallooooo me!
What did the jew post to the nazi subreddit? r/roastme
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?.....That's as crazy as the low low prices at Dave's Furniture Emporium
Facebook is like an Emotion Bank People deposit their feelings to save, but usually gain very little interest.
Cannibals probably instagram pictures of their next door neighbors.
My first post. It's also a tech pun. Konrad Zuse's Z1 was so slow it hertz.
Everyone has that one friend who treats their Facebook status like their therapist.
Some people get athlete's foot. I get Twitter butt.
How do hipsters buy their drugs? by the instagram.
If you're French when you're outside and Dutch in the hallway, what are you when you're in the bathroom? [X-Post r/dadjokes] European. My dad said this one earlier today.
Joint Facebook accounts are the couples sitting on the same side of the booth of the internet.