athlete jokes

Some people get athlete's foot. I get Twitter butt.

"Oh my god! Sarah Jessica Parker is a competitive sprinter?!" "Greg, calm down! This is just the Kentucky Derby."

What's the best part of a boxer's joke? The punch line Found in BL magazine

You have the body of a professional athlete If competitive eating can be considered a sport

I heard that virus is quite the athlete . . . Ebola perfect game.

Why did the football coach call his quarterback a hairdresser? Because he missed a split-end on a curl.

Then there was the Olympic Sprinter that tested positive for Viagra.... He tripped during the 100m Dash and won gold in the pole vault.

How many armed men does it take to extort an Olympic athlete? A Brazilian.

I used to hate having athlete's foot... ...but it's growing on me

The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline.

What do you call a white guy on steroids? An athlete

Tiger Woods is the most overrated athlete in the history. In almost all matches he was sub-par.

Why did the boxer sprinkle cocaine on his exercise rope? He wanted to practice the rope-a-dope.

My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars

What's the aim of a Jewish football match? Getting the quarterback.

What's the difference between an athlete and Hitler? An athlete succeeds in ending a race.

If I've ever been described as "athletic", it was probably meant as a combination of the words "athlete" and "pathetic".

(NAME) is a terrific athlete. He recently ran the London Marathon he was aiming for 3 hours but just missed it! he made it in 3 hrs 150 minutes

Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones, I heard he took out 909 people with one punch.

Instead of throwing the first pitch, it'd be fun if Presidents had to quarterback the first play of a football game.

The cross country athlete disappeared Some think he ran away.

What do you call a guy that used to fight in the ring, but quit it all for video games? An ex-boxer.

I knew an amateur boxer with a coke habit. He kept his stash in his headgear because he thought it would soften the blow.

Ali was great but he was not the greatest... The best boxer that ever lived was reverend Jim Jones. He killed over 900 people with one punch!