work jokes

My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind.

The boss said I need to be more of a team player, so I rounded up all my coworkers & we kicked his ass.

Don't look for a job in a funeral company It's a dying industry

Why did the angel lose her job? She had harp failure.

I told my boss I couldn't come into work because my anal glaucoma was acting up. I just couldn't see my ass there.

Achilles thought his job interview was going well until they asked about his greatest weakness... Then he had to admit defeat.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

The greatest trick the devil ever played is emailing you & then sending an "out of office" notification when you reply like 30 seconds later

Why'd the Mexican cross the road? He took the chicken's job.

I'm such a bad golfer, I found a job in the dessert I'm guaranteed to find water.

There's a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

Why was my boss surprised to see me screwing with the IT guy? They said IT couldn't be done

Sometimes I bring maracas to a meeting just to shake things up.

I lost my job at the calendar factory. My boss said it was unacceptable that I'd taken a few days off.

Start presentation with joke My boss asked me to start the presentation with a joke. I attached payslip on the first slide...

Whats the best part about dating a Black girl? You don't have to worry about meeting her Father

Grandson convinced his grandmother to make an email account. Grandson: Look, Grandma. Somebody already sent you an email. *(Click)* Grandmother: Why would I want to enlarge my penis?

INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*

I went to a AAA meeting today and a guy celebrated 21 years. That is some responsible vehicle ownership.

boss: why aren't you working? me: i didn't see you coming!

This is Bullshit. Since when is dressing for the job you want, not the job you have considered "impersonating an officer"?

Two clowns are running for public office... It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

My coworker doesn't like me which is weird bc her husband does.

Nothing makes me happier to be single than meeting a couple who share an email address.