They kill people.
dark humor jokes
7,439 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"I'll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?""
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
There you have it. Proof that punctuation saves lives.
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells!
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
"I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He later told me it was the most violent book he’d ever read."
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I bought her another, identical one. She just screamed at me and said: “What am I meant to do with two dead dogs?!?”
"I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other."
"It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive."