Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
short jokes
140,386 total · showing the first 120 · page 3 of 5
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
There you have it. Proof that punctuation saves lives.
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells!
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
"I tried to warn my son about playing Russian roulette. It went in one ear and out the other."
What's the process of applying for a job at Hooters?
They just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out."
"The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family."
"They laughed at my crayon drawing. I laughed at their chalk outline."
How did the woman terrify her gynecologist? She learned ventriloquism.
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste.
Dark humor is like food. Not everyone gets it.
What was the problem with the origami adult channel? It was paper view only.