Why does Santa have a big sack? He only comes once a year. Why does he only come once a year? He only goes to see children once a year.
christmas jokes
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'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming... Just cuz I went into the wrong house.
Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide
Knock knock joke I came up with over Christmas Knock knock Who's there? Would you like to talk about Jesus?
As told to me by my dad who smokes a lot Did the disappointed smoker get everything he wanted for Christmas? Clothes but no cigar.
*wears reindeer antlers* *innocently smiles* *bats eyelashes* *steals your wallet*
What's red and white and red, red and white and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a roof!
Christmas is shit. Whoever invented it should be nailed to a cross.
When Santa's helpers take pics of themselves is it called an Elfie?
Why doesn't Santa give gifts to naughty kids? Because it'd Krampus style.
Seasons Greetings by Mary Christmas
I asked my Nan what she wanted for Christmas. "Something from the Body Shop please," she replied..... Hope she's got enough room in the flat for the front wing off a Mondeo.
Wrote a letter to Santa today because i don't want him to think that we only talk when i want something from him.
Sorry! Just saw these texts now! Hope your birthday party, Christmas and wedding were great!
Jewish If a Jew celebrates christmas they're only Jewish.
Lindt have done well this Christmas They've made a killing
Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney.
Cheesy Christmas Jokes? Does any one know any really cheesy but actually really funny christmas jokes? short ones as they are easier to send? struggling to think of any myself
all i want for christmas this year is to get off all social media forever
What do homeless people get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry.
OMG a Matterbaby just washed up on Santa Monica beach! *"what's a matter baby?"* uh... nothing what is a matter with you?
What do Hispanic weeaboos say on Christmas? Feliz NYAHHHH-vidad
what did a crab say to another crab on christmas hey sandy claws