What does deaf, mute and blind person get for christmas? Cancer
christmas jokes
2,161 total · showing the first 120 · page 3 of 5
I go to the gym religiously Christmas, and maybe Easter
Why do dyslexic children get nothing for Christmas? They are writing to Satan.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? Their balls are just for decoration
Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys? Because they soot him!
I'm not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes.
What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now? I told you it would rain, dear.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? Q: How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas? A: He could feel his presence!
Kids here's a tip. Next Christmas leave Santa marijuana cookies and watch how happy your parents magically become the next morning
I stayed at my girlfriends family's place durring the Christmas break. Her father was being a prick and wouldn't let us sleep together, which is a shame, because he is a real good looking guy.
I'm a show off but not drive around with Christmas lights on my car show off And that's when I realized it was a cop car
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve!
What's the difference between Christmas and the Great Marianas Turkey Shoot? At Christmas, there's a nip in the air.
This Christmas buy your Hoes something nice. cause its the thot that counts
What did the little black boy get for Christmas? My bike
What did Santa say at the brothel? Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!
YOU KNOW WHAT THE BEST PART OF BEING ADDICTED TO METH IS?!? ONLY ONE MORE NIGHT TILL CHRISTMAS!
There was a dyslexic devil worshipor. He sold his soul to santa
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present - They are due back at the library tomorrow.
Someone asked me, "How can you celebrate Christmas if you don't believe in God?" I responded with, "How can you celebrate Valentine's Day if nobody loves you?"
Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa.
What I want for Xmas... I asked Santa for a sister. He asked for my mom.
I asked Santa for something to wear and something to play with... He brought me a pair of trousers with holes in the pockets. Merry Christmas everyone!
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Really lonely.