programmer jokes

A programmer's wife asks him to pick up a loaf of bread and, if they have eggs, get a dozen. The programmer comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.

A game developer recently released a "rectal prolapse simulator"... ...they called it "Fallout".

What do you call a computer programmer that likes to kidnap children? A PDFile.

Q: What does a PASCAL programmer say to a C programmer? A: "Would you like fries with that?"

I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect... ...but they fried me for no raisin.

Why the fuck did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays. Hahah get it? arrays(a raise?) No..? :(

A programmer heads to the shops His wife says "grab a loaf of bread and if they have eggs get a dozen" He comes home with twelve loaves of bread.

How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job? He isn't very App-y

What did the programmer say to the architect chick? Wanna come back to my homepage and check out my floor plan?

If you give a developer a cookie... they'll tell you why it's really better to use local storage.

Why did the PHP programmer go to the optician? because he didn't C#

[Microsoft Outlook developer meeting] "we need to tell users when their inbox is full" how do we do that? "we send them another email" nice

People think being a programmer is super exciting But sometimes it's just null and void.

A programmer walks into a bar. Barman ask him if he wants "beer or whiskey", he responded "yes"

What's a Web Developer's favourite tea? URL #DDD

Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to "1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"

hokey pokey The hokey pokey crashed my computer. Stack overflow (You might have to be a programmer to appreciate this)

Which actor is best suited for a programmer role? Dev Patel.

Why are C programmers poor? They don't have any inheritance. Or... Why should you not date a C programmer? They have no class.

The programmer's wife tells her husband: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. if they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.

Why the java programmer wear glasses? He couldn't C#

What do you call the woman on the end of a line? Entities. (I AM SO SORRY, GAME PROGRAMMER JOKE)

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

coder lolz what do you get when throw salt at a coder? a seasoned developer.