programmer jokes

As a software developer, I like my bugs how I like my women Unable to reproduce.

What did the hungry computer programmer say? All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble.

What do you call a software developer who's also a gynecologist? Front-end

What do you call a programmer's testicles? A hackysack.

Which web developer enjoys finding bugs? A spider!

Why did the programmer die in the shower? He followed the shampoo instructions.

Why did the programmer visit the city tour? Because they were handing out guides for the deaf.

What's the programmer's favorite drug? A line of code.

What does a programmer do in the toilet? A log dump!

What Happens When You Cross A Programmer And A Musician? An Algo-rhythm.

How do you know that Beyonce is a hardcore programmer? VB ALL NIGHT!!!!!

A programmer's wife says: "go to the store and get a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." He returns with 12 loaves of bread.

What type of web developer likes finding bugs Spiders

IAmA dyslexic government computer programmer, AMA! Whoops, wrong usb.

what does a programmer and a photo have in common? They develop better in the dark

Crikey, more sad news from the world of technology: Anti-virus developer John McAfee is appearing in court for manslaughter... They estimate the trial could last for 30 days.

What do you call an unconscious computer programmer? dfghjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj

Why did the programmer get a job at the photographers? They needed a developer.

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common? They both work on crowded platforms.

What is a computer programmer's favorite moon? Io

Why was the NSA computer programmer late for work? Because he got Snowden

It's OK to go number 1 in the shower... ...unless you count like a computer programmer.

What's a programmer's least favorite wind instrument? The OBOE.