teacher jokes

[School] Teacher: What's ur biggst fear? Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger

A math teacher ought to be president... To make America integrate again.

ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid

I had an argument with me Chemistry teacher today. I threw some NaCl at him and he yelled; "HEY, THATS A SALT!"

I tried to disrupt my bio teacher today and asked her what her favorite codon was She said stop

Teacher: remember class, there are no stupid questions Me: *raises hand* Teacher: i just said, no stupid questions Me: *lowers hand*

My history teacher found a tampon He's still trying to figure out what period it's from.

When I was in the first grade my teacher could remember my name Which really hurt since I was home-schooled

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away. Rest in peace Jay.

My teacher called me into her office today. She totally wants my D To go up to a C.

Teacher: If a chicken give you meat, a pig give you bacon, what does a fat cow give you? Student: HOMEWORK!

You guys got any good old jokes (example inside) Example: Did you go to school by horse? I like to mess with my tennis teacher, he is over 50 and he gives it right back to me by how bad i play.

ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]

Teacher: All Idiots Stand Up A boy stand up Teacher: so are you an idiot ? Boy: No I can't bear you standing alone madam...

Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you? Pupil: Not very much!

Kids, make sure you learn how to use a protractor in case one day you're a teacher & have to show kids how to use a protractor.

Every kid dreads accidentally calling their teacher "mom" but from personal experience, doing it in a rap battle is worse

Q: Why was the teacher cross-eyed? A: He couldn't control his pupils.

I hate you more than the guy that raised his hand after the teacher said we could all go early if there are no more questions.

What do you call a math teacher who's really into BDSM? A denominatrix.

I was sitting in calculus class, and the teacher asked us how we can ideally take the derivative of a logarithm... I said," I like my logarithms like my women, all natural".

In what school subjects does the teacher say 'Well done hamburgers'? A wide range of subjects - meatyeval history meatematics and word grill.

Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say "I am beautiful", which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense.

Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss.