waiter jokes

Me: Sorry, my son spilled the water Waiter: No problem, I'll get you a new one Me: [grabbing his arm] Make sure this one likes sports

"Waiter, I'd like to send this back" -m'am, I believe that's your husband.

I couldn't finish my dinner , so the waitress asked me: "do you wana box for that ?" I responded " no , but i'll arm wrestle you for it "

WAITER: How is everything? ME: Soul crushing and void of meaning W: I meant your meal M: Soul crushing, void of meaning, and needs salt

Waiter: Can I get you something to drink? Me: just cheese dip Waiter: .... Me: With a straw please

Waiter: These are the best eggs we've had for years. Diner: Well bring me some you haven't had around for that long.

Customer: Why does your sign say "Fine Dining"? Waiter: We can dream can't we?

I'm angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday

"Sir, is this gluten free?" The waiter nods happily "Great," I shout as I collect gluten in a giant vat, "I'm building a gluten fort!"

Waiter is there soup on the menu ? No madam I wiped it off !

What did the waiter say to the customer complaining about a dirty bowl? This is unacceptable.

Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET

Speed 3: Waitress has to keep talking about the day's specials or the entire restaurant explodes.

Waiter (serving soup): It looks like rain today. Patron: Yes it does but it smells like soup.

Me: "I'd like to pay by card." Waiter: "Contactless?" Me: "No, you can cuddle me."

DATE: I chose this restaurant for the ambience. ME: Ah, very good. [to waiter] A bottle of your finest Ambiens, please.

My mate went to a restaurant and the waiter had lost his left arm Serves him right

I used to work in food service, now I work in IT The biggest difference is the phrase "My server went down on me" is no longer a good thing.

Waiter waiter! There's a dead fly in my soup. Oh no! Who's going to look after his family?

"-I like to compare my caffe americano with African migrants." "-Because it's black?" Answers doubtfully the waiter. "-Nope, just sunk deep in water"

What did the impatient waiter ask the gluttonous aardvark? Is that your final ant sir!

Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I can't decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Waitress: would you like another drink? Me: Are you new?

a termite walks into a bar And asks the waitress, is the bar tender here?