politics jokes

The US government is taking Samsung to court. They're being charged with a fault in battery.

So the UK Government can now read my internet history... So I guess the only way I'm ever seeing tentacle porn again is if I take a shitload of LSD and watch Spongebob. Cruel world.

Non vaccinated I don't believe in vaccines for my children. FDR never had the polio vaccine and he was President for 12 years.

What would you call the easter egg roll if Bernie Sanders became president? Weekend at Bernie's.

I used to joke that someday a person's tweets would be held against them as they ran for President but now there's Trump so I guess not.

Spelling error to avoid: "Biden" is the name of the Vice President, "bidet" is your butt-washer.

What do Asians do when they have an erection? They vote

A joke from my grandfather who is a Indian man in the United States. Him: "Muslims are going to vote for trump" Me: "Really?" Him: "Yeah. They want him to stop their parents from visiting constantly"

If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel.

A Muslim, an Illegal Immigrant, and a Marxist walk into a bar... And the bartender asks, "What'll ya have, Mr. President?"

I guess the Republican party... ... **puts on sunglasses** Is not cruizing anymore.

Donalds trumps presidential campaign

Mexican drug lords now have ig and keep posting selfies with stacks of money, mansions and yachts. I think the army... could really learn something from that recruitment campaign.

Who was the least funny U.S. President? FDR. His standup could use some work.

What type of government rules the butterflies? A monarchy

It doesn't take much to be a president... ... a liter of the country.

Can't please Americans For years Americans have complained to the Government that their voices weren't being heard. Now they are freaking the fuck out over the NSA.

It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

If Donald Trump enacts a law saying baby strollers cannot be more than twice the width of the babies in them, I will vote for him in 2020.

Liar is such a harsh term, I prefer Politician

What do the Japanese do when they have an erection? They vote.

What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism? A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

Donald Trump has been saying he will run for president as a Republican. Which is surprising, since I just assumed he was running as a joke.

[phone rings] "Hello?" Hi, is your refrigerator running? "WTF?" ...well Hillary is! Hi, I'd like to talk to you about the Clinton campaign.