wedding jokes

Chocolate fountains are so 20th century. This is the future. At my wedding we're having a burrito fountain.

whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? There is one less drunk at the wake

What does a Polish man give to his bride on their wedding day that's both long and hard? His surname

Two men were remembering their wedding days. "It was dreadful" said Fred. "I got the most terrible fright." "What happened?" asked Harry. "I married her" replied Fred.

Marriage consists of three rings.... engagement ring wedding ring and suffering

GF: "you're so childish" me: "it's my day too linda" [we sit in silence] wedding planner: "so is that a yes or a no on the bouncy castle?"

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night? A new last name

Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face.

A priest asks a rabbi, "when are you going to finally try pork?" The rabbi replies, "At your wedding friend,"

What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night? A new last name.

Call me crazy but you can't follow, star, retweet, and trophy me and then act surprised when I show up to your house in a wedding dress.

Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.

[wedding] i wrote my own vows *removes paper* "chickety china the chinese chicken" whoops wrong one *2nd paper* "if i had $1,000,000"

Did you hear about the penny and magnifying glass who got married? Their wedding was magnifycent.

Wrong womam or wrong finger? Funny Joke A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

The groom upon his engagement went to his father and said "I've found a woman just like mother!" His father replied "So what do you want from me sympathy?"

Marrige has 3 rings... The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

*quietly tries to open bag of chips while fiance is reading her wedding vows*

"Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."

Wearing Your Wedding! A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer.

Why are wedding in Wales so inexpensive? The brides are already dressed in white.

A husband and wife are getting married.... Minister: And now your wedding vows Groom: A E I O U Bride: Omg do u ever take anything seriously? Groom: sometimes....why?

I just went to an emotional wedding. even the cake was in tiers.