scientist jokes

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

Beer isn't a solution Unless you're a chemist.

What did arnold schwarzenegger say to the chemist Get to the COPPER!!!!!

What does a chemist say when he needs someone to pass the salt? "Please pass the salt."

Where would you find the scientist who loved to f$@k dogs? In the lab.

Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work? He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea.

Horrible Dubstep Joke Why couldn't the Dubstep artist be a chemist? He couldn't stop dropping the base!

Why is a physicist's dream vacation in Alaska? Because of all the cold fission it has.

What did the Scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of Helium? HeHe

Little Johnny Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

So a bar walks into a physicist... Shoot; wrong frame of reference...

What's the difference between a plumber and a scientist? Pronounce this word: unionized

Why couldn't the scientist understand what the photon was saying? Because the photon was incoherent.

I'm no scientist, but I don't think it's possible for EVERYBODY to be kung fu fighting.

What one noun, verb, and US President sums up a scientist's hopes and fears? Grant.

Did you hear about the chemist who died of lead poisoning? He tried to make himself a Pb&J sandwich

What do you call two breath mints that were turned into humans by a scientist? Ex-pair-a-mints.

How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'

What would shakira be singing if she had been data scientist? Tsamina mina eh eh... "Weka Weka" eh eh...

Scientist next to me: My god. Reality is a simulation. Me (also a scientist): My god. I haven't fed my tamagotchi in 17 years.

What did the scientist say to his hot assistant? "There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."

Scientists report global context shortage. "I guess I'll have flan," some scientist said, totally out of context.

science jokes two chemists walk into a bar, the first one says "I'll have H20" the second one says "I'll have H20 two" the second chemist dies.how did he die? tell me in the comments

What is a Nuclear Physicist's favorite Genesis song? "Land of Cold-Fusion".