"You're mother." (thing to say to your mother).
deadpan jokes
46,599 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
How does the farmer count up his cows? ...with a cowculator.
Chuck Norris once broke wind so hard... it couldn't be fixed.
What do SQL programmers do at night? Count star.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off teh cliff? tequila
Have you seen the movie constipated? It hasn't come out yet.
Donald Trump The joke's in the title.
Today I quit drinking for good now I only drink for evil
I remember 2014 like it was yesterday
A gymnast walks on a bar.
Q. What do tired line dancers do? A. They Line Down :-)
My review of your face: Good, quality face. Would look again
What do you call a group of blind German kids? Not-sees
Can someone help me decide which Nirvana album to buy? Wait, Nevermind
Dolphins thats just a kids TAIL (get it)
What breaks when you give it to a toddler? Its hips.
What do you call a really bad mind reader? Telepathetic.
What's it called when you hit somebody with sodium chloride? Assalt
What looks better... than roses your piano? Tulips on your organ.
Why did Serj Tankian cross the road? because he wanted to...
Who can beat any burger at golf? Any LINKS sausage!
Why did Uhuru get mad? Because William Shatner.
How are babies different from feminists? Babies grow up and stop crying.
Why do the Japanese have squinty eyes? Becuase atomic bombs are bright.