What did the Australian grandmaster say to the waiter after eating? Check, mate.
australian jokes
303 total · showing the first 120 · page 2 of 5
funny Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
Why are aussie bogans and necrophiliacs the same? They both want to crack open a cold one.
NSFW? - Definition of a Period A period is a bloody waste of fucking time! (works in Australia, and probably England)
Australian is what happens when the British get wet and eat after midnight
What is long and hard that a Australian bride gets in her wedding night? Dick
Who was Captain Kangaroo's pedophile side-kick ? Mr. Cream Jeans
A British soldier meets an Australian soldier on a warzone **British soldier**: Did you come here to die? **Australian soldier**: Nah mate, I came here yesterday!
In Australia, lawsuits are just what lawyers wear to court.
Australian joke I just heard An Australian kiss is like a French kiss only it's... down under.
Why did the baby kangaroo not want to grow up? It was a wannabe wallaby!
How did the Australian make the Olympics? He koala-fied!!!!! Buh-duh-tss
When we were vacationing in New Zealand, I bought myself a back-scratcher made from a Kangaroo claw. ... ... The only downside is when I use it on myself, I end up feeling jumpy the rest of the day.
911 - 911 what's your emergency Me - I am Australian and I watch too much American TV 911 - .... Me - I don't know our emergency number
What did the Australian say to the two people fighting over bread? It's stalemate
A British man visits Australia. The customs officer asks "Do you have a previous criminal history?" The visitor replies "I didn't realize that was still a requirement"
The Australian border patrol is so good... they even stop the good internet from reaching Australia.
[rugby] Looks like Australia was in trouble there for a while... But in the end they got off Scot-free.
What's an Australian's favorite element? Gold
What do you call an aminoacid glued to an Australian? A glutamate.
Rafael Nadal got done by an Australian teenager today at Wimbledon. Rolf Harris is having raging fits of jealousy.
Now that the Australian dollar is worth 0.70 USD.. Can we just call it the Feminist Dollar?
Did you know that camels aren't indigenous to Australia? They were shipped there by the British. Oddly enough, so were the Australians.
Kid: But dad I don't want to go to Australia. Dad: Shut and keep digging