Man sees a kangaroo sitting in a movie theater "Are you a kangaroo?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The kangaroo replied, "Well, I liked the book."
australian jokes
303 total · showing the first 120 · page 5 of 5
Jokes Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
What do you call a very lazy baby kangaroo? A pouch potato.
A man drops a nail, which rolls under his bed, so he goes down under. This begs the question of why he decided to go to Australia to get a new nail instead of searching under his bed.
How do you know when an Australian prisoner is raping another prisoner? When they're in an inmate mate
Australia beat England in their matchup in the Rugby World Cup. I guess you could say the prisoners beat the guards.
An Australian drives up to a hitch hiker with one eye, no arms, and one leg And says "Oi! You look 'armless! 'Op in!"
British men is visiting Australia. Learn: The man at customs asks him "Do you have a criminal record?" The British man replies "I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."
Sorry, cancer kids. Our prayers are going elsewhere. RT @KimKardashian: So scared I'm not gonna make my flight to Australia! Pray I make it!
"Some people say I'm an animal in the sack." - baby kangaroo
I'm so terrible at Chess. The only way I'll ever get to say "Checkmate" is if I eat at a restaurant in Australia.
Lindt Chocolate are to make a new Chocolate bar to commemorate the terrorist attack on its cafe in Sydney It will be called allahu akBAR
If you accept small grammatical errors, decent society collapses and then everyone starts marrying dogs. That's what happened to Australia.
My friend asked me to come up with Eleven jokes about The Australian Open. I think Tennis enough.
if you can't handle me at my worst, you're probably that gutless Outback Steakhouse shift manager who called the cops on me last night
What do Australian emos use to cut their wrists? Rise up lights
Another flight Attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume).
FRIEND: Australia has 9 of the 10 world's deadliest snakes ME: OMG ONE ESCAPED?!
Did you hear the one about Phillip Hughes? He was the first Australian to die of a bowler.
Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear? Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all
TIL you can fit 30 bananas in a Kangaroo's pouch. Also, I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo? Probably an award or something. I mean, that would be pretty crazy. Alternative punch line: I don't know. The zoo won't let me try.