short jokes

TIL Condoms have serial numbers.. ..but I've never rolled one down far enough to find out..

A dyslexic guy walks into a bar... And the woman says, "Excuse me! What do you think you're doing?!"

Why did the French chef kill himself Because he lost the huile d'olive.

Why do neckbeard dentists love Cats the musical? Because m'cavity.

I don't like nosey peppers they get Jalapeno buisness

My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.

How are children like slinkies? It's fun to toss them down stairs.

"Make cave drawing. It last longer." - Cavewoman bitch

I hope my search for my lost heroin... isn't in vein.

Someone tried to sell me a coffin today... I told them its the last thing I need.

Apple made a bomb It was called the iED

Everything I like is either: illegal, immoral, fattening, addictive, expensive, or impossible

You know what I don't get? Laid.

If you think the way to a mans heart is through his stomach.... Then you're aiming too high

Musicians with no advertising budget can simply name their band Missing Cat.

Did you hear about the Chinese godfather? He made them an offer they could not understand.

Hey Home Shopping Network: We have the internet now.

What's your best "A guy walks into a bar" joke

Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you're nuts.

What do you call spiders in the Middle East? Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

I have a great knock-knock joke But someone else has to start. Go

One Girl, Two Cups would be a terrible name for a bra shop.

I'm thinking of visiting Saudi Arabia based on the upcoming week's forecast It's mostly Sunni

Organ Freeman http://i.imgur.com/plVQyUC.jpg