A prospective army man walks into a recruitment office without pants. "Is there a draft in here?"
soldier jokes
389 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
Where does the army keep fish? In a tank.
What do you call an army of corn? The Musket - ears
What do you call a soldier that got attacked by mustard gas and pepper spray?? A seasoned veteran
The Indian National Army has anti-gay laws... They call it the law of Don't Ask, Don't Patel.
My grandfather was a boxer in the British Army. Which was completely unfair because the enemy had rifles.
What do you call a dentist in the army ? A drill sergeant !
My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support.
Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
Even if they all unite against Trump, those seven countries won't get off the list A seven nation army couldn't hold Trump back.
You have 90,000 followers, follow 92,000, and all you tweet are @s thanking people for following back. Are you raising an army for Mordor?
What do you call an empty field? The french army at the beginning of a war!
During lunch, what did one Soldier say to the other Soldier? Want some Turkey?
If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel.
Where does marine wildlife get treated? The Squid-ward.
I was an army sniper, until I was discharged. It must have been my accuracy. It was very hit and miss.
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis? A: Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.
Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.
The best part of Robocop is when they spent billions of dollars making a cyborg super soldier instead of helping Detroit not be awful.
To get a job in the Army you need good peoples kills.
In light of Germany's discovery of ISIS using mustard gas: What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran.
There once was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He is now a seasoned veteran.
I wonder if John McCain plays with plastic Army men and pretends he's President at home.
How does a Space Marine from Warhammer 40K get fit? By doing Squats.