Graduation speech: I would like to thank Wikipedia, and copy/paste. I'm out bitc$es
graduation jokes
72 total · page 3 of 3
When math majors graduate, do they get degrees or radians?
People always ask why I'm wearing a sombrero in my high school graduation pictures. Clearly, because it was my senor year.
Do you know who REALLY gets irony? Skydiving schools. Cuz you gotta drop out to graduate! *releases mic to float down on tiny parachute*
A science graduate asks the question why? An engineering graduate asks the question how? An arts graduate asks, "Would you like fries with that?"
A lot of schools are back in session. Remember if you study hard enough there will still be no jobs when you graduate.
What did Snoop Dogg say upon graduation as a EE major? My circuit breaker be trippin and my joint wouldn't solder...
What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Interviewer: Where did you receive your education? Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate? Me: I yust got out in Yuly
How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch? Pay him for the pizza
Donald Trump went to graduate school and now he has a PuD Pretty 'uge d...isertation
A paraplegic high school senior can graduate... ...but can't walk with their class.
"Hello welcome to meteorologist school. Please stick your head out of the nearest window and pick your diploma up on your way out."
What's the difference between God and a medical school graduate? God doesn't think he's a doctor.
So I talkedto a gender studies graduate the other day. I told her I wanted a #1 combo with no tomatos or onions.
You guys! I'm so excited, I just hooked up with my crush from middle school. ...but now she keeps calling me expecting me to show up at her graduation.
Sometimes I take out my headphones, walk to class, graduate college, get married, file for divorce, and then finish untangling my headphones
*speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info.
[dean tries handing me a diploma as I walk across the stage] I have a boyfriend
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A unemployed male college graduate.
GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!
Nothing brings a family closer at graduation than a flask.
*grandma sobbing at my graduation* "Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up there." *wipes tear* "But they didn't want to come."
Why hadn't the law graduate and the bartender ever met? The graduate never passed the bar