An engineer went hunting... And found a set of tracks. He bent down to take a closer look and was run over by a train.
engineer jokes
134 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
God is obviously a Civil Engineer... ... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground.
A priest, a rabbi, a nun, a doctor, an engineer and a blond walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what is this, some kind of a joke?"
An unemployed engineer gets lost while going to a job interview at the navy base Woops, wrong sub.
A structural engineer walked into a bar... ...this is when he realised his building design was flawed.
Explosive Opportunity A British engineer started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making landmines that look like prayer mats. He says that prophets are going through the roof.
Engineer's Joke I have a girlfriend!
What kind of railway is an Italian engineer's favourite? Funicula
If you think sex is just filling her hole Then you're a civil engineer, not a lover
How do you know if someone's an engineer without asking them? Don't worry they'll tell you
The Unemployed Engineer
Engineer Manager joke Why couldn't the Engineer Manager screw his wife? "Sorry I don't have the tools, I only supervise."
How can you tell you are dealing with an extroverted engineer? He's staring at somebody else's shoes.
Don't call me "Dad", please call me by my professional title, "Half-Eaten Food Connoisseur Broken Toy Engineer Butt-Wipeologist".
[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital
Engineers' view about a glass of water! To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up
What do you call the angel in charge of hydroelectrics? A God dam engineer.
"The club can't even handle me right now." What, like structurally? Should we call an engineer? Evacuate? Please advise.
Engineers To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, some idiots used a glass that's twice as big than necessary.
What's the difference between a physicist and an engineer A physicist says "E = mc^2", an engineer asks "How much mass we talkin?"
To the Engineer To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
What did the engineer say to the flood? Dam!
What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed? I trussed you.