farmer jokes

What does the German wheat farmer say to his wife in the morning? Gluten Morgen!

Have you heard the one about the grain farmer? It was corny.

What do you call a poor pepper farmer? A jalapeno pauper

What does the Farmer say when he is searching his shovel ? Where is my shovel ?

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year? Breakfast.

FARMER: [when the protractor he ordered online finally gets delivered] this isn't what i wanted at all

I'm a completely broke farmer. The other day I tried buying fertilizer on my only credit card and it was declined. I literally can't buy shit.

A farmer in (x-town) who rolled over a cart of horse manure... Is reported in "stable condition."

What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire? "My ears are burning!"

Why did the farmer win an award? He was outstanding in his field.

If Billy Mays were a farmer... And he ran a really good corn maze during the spring, it would be called the "Amazing May Mays Maize Maze."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? Wheres my tractor!

A farmer just burst into tears because nobody likes eating his apples anymore... I told him to grow a pear.

In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her. He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester.

A farmer was counting his cows.... A farmer was counting his cows and initially only counted 196, but when he rounded them up he had 200.

What does the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

MY WIFE IS CHEATING ON ME WITH A TINY FARMER wait these are Legos

How does a farmer find a sheep in the long grass? Satisfying

HUH? Why did the farmer sell his frog leg ranch? He found out it was a 'rough toad to hoe.'

Me: I want to buy this chicken Farmer: Ok. Gonna take him home and eat him? *imagines self fighting crime with new chicken buddy* Me: Yes

Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !

What do you call a religious dairy farmer? Cheesus Christ

What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep.

What did the farmer say when he found dynamite in one of his cows? This is a bomb in a bull.