priest jokes

What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest? One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor.

[my funeral] PRIEST: dearly beloved... *respectful silence from guests* PRIEST: ...and steve ME FROM INSIDE COFFIN: lmao get roasted steve

PRIEST: Do you take this this woman, to have and to hold, for better, for worse, until death do you part? ME: Well, now you made it weird.

So three Rabbi's walk into a bar... ...and the bartender says "get the fuck out"

Being raised as a catholic was tough. As soon as I hit 12 I had acne come on my face, as did the priest.

Have you heard about that new movie, "The Homophobic Preacher"? Hasn't come out yet.

What does a rabbi do when life gives him lemons? Makes hacidic jews

What's the difference between a priest and a zit A zit waits until you're 12 before it comes on your face

A Priest and a Rabbi... see a little boy bent over. The Priest says to the Rabbi: "Should we fuck him?" The Rabbi says to the Priest: "Out of what?"

Priest in bathroom I walked in on a priest going on the bathroom and I was like HOLY SHIT!

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne waits untill you are 14 before it comes in your face.

What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? The rabbi cuts them off, the priest sucks them off.

Why did the Priest go to Walmart? Because the little boys pants were half off.

Clergy A priest and a rabbi are sitting in a bar. The priest asks, "Want to screw some alter boys?" And the rabbi responds, "out of what?"

Grandma found out I'm single so I have roughly an hour to find a gf or Ill be getting the 'have you thought about being a priest' talk again

What did the triangle say to the preacher? Forgive me father for I have sin().

What does a priest and McDonalds have in common? They both like to stick meat in their 10 year old buns.

The gang's all here A horse, a blonde, a redneck, a priest, a rabbi, and the president all walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What is this, some kind of a joke?"

What's an example of Jewish foreplay? When the Rabbi makes a three-pointer at the Bris.

What did the mute say to the priest? Nothing

Stop saying: "That's what she said" and say "... said the priest to his lawyer" instead

What did Tony Abbott (Prime minister of Australia) do with the half-eaten banana? He re-peeled it.

What did the blue priest say to the red peasant? Wolololo Wolololo!

So a virgin priest and a virgin nun walk into a bar.