"As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice."
teen jokes
7,444 total · showing the first 120 · page 4 of 5
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one.”
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree. "You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!" The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
"I'll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. "Are you still holding the ladder?""
When does a joke become a dad joke?
"Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera."
When it leaves you and never comes back.
Option 1: Let’s eat grandma.
Option 2: Let’s eat, grandma.
There you have it. Proof that punctuation saves lives.
Priest: “Do you have any last requests?”
Murderer sitting in the electric chair: “Yes. Can you please hold my hand?”
Why does a mermaid wear seashells?
Because she outgrew her B-shells!
You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.
Man: “Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?”
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you. But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
Doctor: “To the morgue.”
Man: “What? But I’m not dead yet!”
Doctor: “And we’re not there yet.”
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.