new year jokes

Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd.

I haven't had a server go down on me that long since New Year at Hooters. Edit for explanation: https://techcrunch.com/2016/08/11/reddit-is-currently-experiencing-a-major-outage/

Happy new year!! Sorry I use internet explorer.

What's your new years resolution? Mine's 1920x1080.

My new year's resolution is to stop procrastinating. . . I'm gonna start tomorrow

My new years resolution is 1200x800

What do you call it when you can't see your skin? Pore resolution

New year Happy happy new year a little boy said to his girlfriend happy new year girl said first give gift then celebrate happy new year

This is embarrassing but I just noticed that I've been wearing "2006" New Year's Eve glasses for the past decade. :(

I'm planning on ringing the new year in with a kiss ... whether my dog likes it or not.

I've thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year's resolution. 3840x2160

So far I've kept my resolution to not date any super models.

My new year's resolution is that donuts have no calories.

My new year resolution is 1024x768.

The unemployment rate rose to 9.8% and Twitter is expected to see about a 10% hike to hit 200 million users by New Year's. Coincidence? No.

Single men everywhere strain to make one major change this new year... their bed sheets.

My New Year's resolution is to stop telling Dad jokes, shouldn't be that hard, I never joke about my father.

Happy new year! Sorry, I suffer from premature congratulation.

I'm giving up spray deodorants for the new year Roll on 2017

I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet.

My New Year's Resolution 1920 x 1080

You still have 10 more hours to lose all the weight from your last New Year's resolution. Hurry !

What's the true meaning of a New Years resolution? Something you do for the first week of the new year.

My New Year's resolution for 2017 was to lose 10 pounds. Only 12 more to go.