thanksgiving jokes

New Thanksgiving trend Forget Black fiday how about BLACK RIOT MONDAY

In the UK we celebrate Thanksgiving as the day we managed to ship all our paranoid religious fundamentalists off to another continent.

The opposite of Thanksgiving leftovers is Thanksgiving rightunders. I'm so sorry

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Just be *honest* with it man...

"Sure Chief, you can join us for dinner this year. But in the future, you're gonna need reservations." -Pilgrims, at the first Thanksgiving

A Native American scolded me for celebrating Thanksgiving, a celebration of slaughter So I said, "you're right, it's awful what they've done to the turkeys all these years."

It is Canadian Thanksgiving this weekend ...and I'm just thankful that I'll have ebola turkey soup and not ebola the deadly disease.

What's worse that burning the turkey on thanksgiving? Being a starving African Child.

How do you say Thanksgiving in Native American? Last Supper

Thanksgiving dinner. So a housewife is preparing thanksgiving dinner when her husband comes in, and she asks, "are you hungry, dear?" And the turkey answers, "no, I'm stuffed."

What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving? He gave tanks.

With all the bad luck that the US has seen this year... You'd almost think this country was built on an ancient Indian burial ground. Happy Thanksgiving!

This year I decided I am going back to the real roots of Thanksgiving and celebrating it in the traditional fashion. I will be handing out smallpox blankets to Native Americans.

Thanksgiving with the snail family I had the snail family from next door over for a big Thanksgiving dinner, they are still feeling sluggish this morning.

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving? The Redskins

I think my family is really going to dig the 15 minute powerpoint I've created of the things I am thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner.

Why was the United Nations concerned when the waitress dropped the platter on Thanksgiving? It meant the fall of Turkey, the ruin of Greece, and the breakup of China.

On Thanksgiving, how does Miley Cyrus stuff her bird? You don't want to know.

Looks like Putin is having Turkey for Thanksgiving aff

dad: You're sitting at the kids table this Thanksgiving me: Why? dad: What's a fuse? me: Uh dad: Who's SpongeBob's best friend? me: Patr- oh

If they can't ruin the holiday one way they'll find another My uncle used to ruin every Thanksgiving with his drinking problem. But now he found Jesus and ruins it with that.

What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire? How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

We're having a traditional Thanksgiving this year. We're going to invite the neighbors to dinner, murder them, and take their land.