musician jokes

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave til his Bill Withers.

A bunch of Italians formed a Bob Marley tribute band. They're called the Reggae-Tony's

Heard this one from my trumpet playing band director Does anyone know the Trumpeteer handshake? "Hi, I'm better than you"

Did you hear about the pedophile musician? He was caught fingering A-minor.

What's the difference between someone who can mend your pants quick and a famous singer? One of them is a swift tailor.

My favorite musician pun ||: lather, rinse :||

Worst thing about having a one-syllable name: Every "Happy Birthday" singer stretches it out awkwardly to fit the song. "Paaaa-aul"

What do you get when an alternative metal band runs out of toilet paper? Rage Upon the Latrine

I'm making a band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we havent gotten a gig yet.

*does 3 or 4 pretty accurate karate kicks in front of a girl* "Ya as I was saying my dad went to middle school with the drummer from Tesla"

Why did the veggie band sound horrible live? Because they were missing a beet.

[Girl over my house] "My ex boyfriend had this weird one-man-band thing. You dont, right?" [Unclipping my harmonica holder] Def not.

What do Michelle Obama and the lead singer of The Police have in common? They're both similar to insects! (FLOTUS like a butterfly, Sting like a bee)

In the recent news of Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds both passing away... ...Keith Richards, the guitarist for the Rolling Stones, has confirmed to still be alive.

No musician has vision impairments All of them should know how to C#

What do you call a dumb musician? Curt Nobrain....

The Band " The Ghost Inside " bus was just involved in a fatal crash I guess that means there could literally be a Ghost Inside, the bus.

Why did the blonde librarian sleep with a famous musician? She wanted a first edition of Moby's Dick.

The star singer of Gangnam Style should invent his own style of fashion/furnishing... He could call it **PSY Chic** ..He *knows* you'd like it.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground? It didn't have any pickups

How do you get a musician off of your porch? You pay for the pizza.

I HAVE A LITTLE MERMAID BAND-AID UNDER MY EYE CAUSE I'M IN A GANG NOW.

YYZ was the first song I ever learned -Said no drummer ever.

How do you turn a duck into a blues singer? Leave it out in the sun until its Bill Withers