salesperson jokes

So I'm in Ikea.... ...and I ask the salesperson, "Is this a finished desk?" and she says, "No, it's Swedish." (edited to make more better)

Furniture salesperson: Do you see anything you like? Waldo: Actually yes this red and white couch is quite nice.

ME: I'll sleep on it. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Ok. ME: So wrap it up. I'd like to sleep on it tonight. MATTRESS SALESMAN: Oh, you want the... ok.

A salesman knocked on my door today. "Who currently provides your Internet?" he asked. I said, "My next door neighbour."

A salesman came to my door and tried to sell me a coffin. "Nah, thats the last thing I'll need"

In RL I'm a car salesman. Which means its my job to know how many bodies fit in the trunk of a car officer. This is all work related.

The Arabic door to door salesman was being rude to me So I Salaamed the door in his Fez

Can someone give me a pun about death of a salesman. preferably about willy, but anything will do

What happened when the man asked the salesman for a good belt? "O.K. you asked for it" the salesman said as he gave him a good belt.

*Salesman smashes through window into living room* Evening, folks. Are you in the market for a new window?

Patient: Doctor you have to help me stop talking to myself. Doctor: Why is that? Patient: I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

Going through the dealership lot with the salesman, pointing at every car and asking, "what kinda robot does that one turn into?"

Jerry Seinfeld is at Best Buy. "We've got a great deal on TVs today" the salesman says. "What's the deal?" Jerry says. The Best Buy explodes

What do you call a gay travelling salesman? Flim-flamboyant.

I took a shop class in high school... It didn't make me a better salesman, but I did learn how to build a franchise in a way I didn't anticipate.

The best answer to an American Apparel salesperson asking you if you're looking for anything specific is, "the bottom half of a shirt."

All my life I've refused to wear perfume. But then an aggressive perfume-salesperson knocked some scents into me.

Customer: You said these pants were pure wool but the label says "all cotton." Salesman: Oh that's just to keep the moths away.

Why couldn't the Italian phone salesman open up his shop... He had a Nokia

What does the man with two left feet ask the shoe salesman? "Do you sell flip-flips?"

Knock knock Who's there? A door salesman.

A UNIX Salesperson A unix salesperson named Lenore Loved her job, but loved the beach more. She devised such a way to combine work and play: She sells C-shells by the seashore

I always wanted to be my own boss so now I run a nonprofit Not by choice, im just a shitty salesman.

"dont get conned into spendin our lottery money" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? "NO" ok [to salesman] one shark pls