Post this on your Facebook then count your programmer friends. My phone is broken, please send me message on my Facebook or my Gmail.
programmer jokes
156 total · showing the first 120 · page 5 of 5
A programmer orders 0 drink from the bar. Only when his friend comes in and he orders for both does he get his drink.
How did the programmer celebrate his birthday? var celebration = ["Hip", "Hip"];
A recruiter asked me if I wanted to be a hardcore developer I said sure, I've always wanted to work for PornHub
[hs reunion] JANE: i'm an engineer TOM: i'm a real estate developer AMY: i'm a lawyer *everyone looks at me* ME: *panics* i'm a hospital
3 Steps to being a good Programmer 1. Avoid recursion 2. Repeat steps 1 and 2. 3. Always have an exit condition. 4. Beware of being off by one.
What do you call a web developer who enjoys finding bugs in the system? A spider
What makes a software developer feel rich? Their Cache
Why was the programmer sexist? Because he treats women like objects. EDIT: phrasing
"are you a programmer?" not really. me is more of an amateur grammar
When you know it is too cold in Bay Area? When you see the programmer's hands are in their pockets.
My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.
A programmer was found dead in the shower this morning ... Next to him was found a shampoo bottle marked 'Lather, Rinse, Repeat'.
Did you hear what happened to the computer programmer? His wife told him, "while you are out, buy some eggs." He never came back.
Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible? No comment.
A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table... ...one full of water in case he gets thirsty, one empty in case he doesn't.
A programmer goes to do groceries. His wife tell him: -- Buy a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, buy a dozen. He comes back with thirteen loaves of bread. -- But why?, she asks. -- They had eggs.
What did the programmer call his ship? Sea++
How long does it take for a GNOME developer to take a shit? I don't know, how long until the next version of GNOME?
How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn? 'Allo-cate
REQUIRED : A content developer. Salary commensurate with contentment
When a programmer is born, what are their first words? "Hello world!"
A programmer began to cuss Because getting to sleep was a fuss. When laying in her bed Looping round in her head Was: while (!asleep()): sheep++;
A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... ...but he didn't have root access.